1. Comma Splices - The attempt to join two independent clauses, but without a coordinator.
Ex. I got up late this morning, I didn't have time for breakfast.
How to fix - I got up late this morning. I didn't have time for breakfast.
2. Direct Quotations - End periods and commas go inside of the quotation marks, but periods and commas go after the parenthetical documentation.
Ex. "No!", Jimmy protested (64).
3. Repetition - Repeating a name or a pronoun multiple times in one paragraph
Ex. She likes "The One" the best because it was dedicated to their fans, and she is one. She also likes "Everybody", because she was a fan when they were first starting out, and she is still a fan now.
4. Affect vs. Effect -
Affect: a verb
Effect: a noun
Ex. Her actions affect the way that her friends are viewed. An effect of this might be the loss of friendship.
5.Unnecessary Commas - placing a comma where it is not needed/appropriate
Wrong: I like that shirt, but, it doesn't come in my size.
Right: I like that shirt, but it doesn't come in my size.
Commonly Misspelled Words:
Attached
Unnecessary
Accidentally
Guarantee
Supersede
Monday, April 30, 2012
Reflecting on This Year's Writing: Writing WrAP Up
Before
this past year, I had never been fully confident in my writing. I always felt as if I was an insufficient
writer, trying hard but not succeeding. In the past 8 months, I can honestly
say that I have improved greatly as a writer, and in ways that I didn’t even
know I could. I am proud of the work
that I placed my name on in English I, and I know that without the feedback and
criticism I received from not only my peers, but also Dr. deGravelles, I would
not feel as strongly as I do today.
The very first piece of writing that we
turned in on Turnitin.com was our literacy narrative. When given the assignment, I knew exactly
what I would talk about and how it changed who I am today as a writer. Overall
I was fairly satisfied with the work that I did here, because I had only a few
errors (mainly incorrect punctuation with quotations, and comma splices). Getting the feedback from Dr. deGravelles set
me up in a position where I was not only sufficient in my writing, but I was
also confident.
After we wrote our literacy narratives,
we moved on to writing profiles. I had
chosen to profile my good friend, and write about how she managed her life as a
recent freshman. My rough draft for this paper had been about what she did in a
day, and my teacher pointed out to me that I should choose to focus on one or
two things about her characteristically, and why that makes her who she
is. Unfortunately for me, I didn’t fully
grasp the concept and my literacy narrative turned out to be a mess. Overall, I
did okay, but I did not reach all of the requirements that were set for
us. Each of my scores on the rubric was
brought down an entire letter grade because of this. I had also thought that my voice throughout
the piece was substantial, but I ended up receiving a “D” in that category. Looking
back, I should have known that a good paper follows every guideline on the
rubric, and I honestly don’t know why I didn’t follow it in the first
place. Receiving a 28/35 on this piece,
I was put into a mindset that in order to receive good scores and succeed, I
would have to work very hard.
Out of all the papers that we wrote
this year, the hardest one to write for me was definitely the literary
analysis. When we were given the
assignment, I should have known to pick a short story that I could effectively
write a literary analysis on. Instead, I
chose what I wanted and read from a collection of humorous holiday-themed short
stories. After choosing a story and
starting the writing process, I quickly found that finding a thesis in my story
was tricky, but I pushed on through and made do with what I had. I wrote my literary analysis, unsatisfied of
what I had put my name on and turned it, but I luckily received great feedback
from Dr. deGravelles. My voice in this
work was awkward, and my understanding of rhetorical situations was clearly not
what I had thought it was. She had also acknowledged the challenge that I had
with writing my literary analysis, which made me more comfortable with letting
her know how I felt about my writing. My
feedback and conclusions from my literary analysis made me 100% sure that I was
going to try my absolute hardest for the next paper that we were going to be
assigned to write.
In Social Studies, shortly after Christmas break, we started to
do research on a global issue. We were
told that our research would tie in with a project in English class, and we
needed to make sure that we had all of the requirements in order to move on
from the research stage to the writing stage.
Unfortunately, my social studies class was not prepared for the
requirements in our English class, which in turn made research not fun. I had to do a lot of research on my own time,
despite the seemingly endless amount of time that we were given in Social
Studies. However, I realized early on in this project that though it not may be
easy, I needed to improve overall in my writing, which I concluded by assessing
the writing that I had completed earlier on.
I chose to write about overpopulation, and how it affects the world
environmentally and economically. I completed a lot of research, which made
writing the paper itself quite enjoyable.
I like to write, but writing this paper was different. I was very proud of my writing every step of
the way, and the feedback that I received through peer editing was a wonderful
confidence booster. I received comments
such as “near perfect draft”, and “this is an awesome paper”. That along with my comments from Dr.
deGravelles boosted my confidence to an entire new level. Not only were my peers and my teacher proud
of my writing, but I was too. I think that this paper helped me to realize that
in order for others to be proud of your work, you yourself have to be proud of
it too. Writing this paper was sort of an epiphany for myself as a writer, as I
was finally completely proud of my paper, and it showed.
A while ago, we completed the WrAP
test, as we do every year. We were given
the rubric, and told to fully review it, as we should always try our hardest to
receive the highest grade we possibly could as writers. Normally, I write three pages of whatever I
come up with relating to our prompt, but this time I only wrote a page and a
half of well-developed ideas of downloading music and what I thought about
it. For some reason, I was completely
satisfied with my page and a half, and was even more satisfied when I had
received my scores of mostly 5.0’s and only one 4.0. With a total score of 29.0, I had written
less than I had on any WrAP test I had ever taken, and made the highest score
out of all of them. I was amazed as I
reviewed my writing, only reaffirming the fact that in order to succeed in
writing, you have to be proud of your work too.
With all of the feedback that I have
received this year, I realized that I struggle in a few general areas, being my
ideas and voice throughout writing, and also dealing with rhetorical
situations. Though towards the end of
the year, these struggles started to go away a little bit, they are still
present in my writing, and it is something that I look forward to improving on
over the course of the next few years.
With the help that I have received this year, and the help that I will receive
in the years to come, improving in these areas is definitely a possibility for
me.
Looking back on this year, I am more than happy with my
improvement as a writer. As I was
completing these assignments, I had not thought much about what it was helping
with in the long run, I only thought about how they were not fun and they
seemed like a burden. After this year of English, I am so excited to move on to
what will come next year. I never
thought that I would be the writer that I am today, even if I have only
improved just a little bit. Next year, I hope that I can improve even more as a
writer, especially in the areas that I struggled with this year, such as
rhetorical situations and especially voice and overall ideas. However, I am
thankful for all of the work and struggles that I pushed through this year, as
it has not only made me eager for what is to come in the next three years of
high school English, but I am finally fully confident with myself as a writer,
and I am so excited to see myself improve even more.
Monday, April 23, 2012
Monday, April 16, 2012
"Daylight" by Matt and Kim
One of my favorite songs is "Daylight" by Matt and Kim. It is one of the duo's most popular songs, and it is very catchy, but it also has a unique meaning. In the song, Matt sings about what he does during the day time, and in each stanza he mentions something new and interesting that he is doing durning the day, clearly living his life to the fullest and facing everything with a positive attitude. The tone of "Daylight" is the carefree and optimistic attitude that you might expect to see for someone who's relationship with the daylight is one that is inspiring, because you can tell that the narrator believes that daylight is a gift and it should be used to its absolute fullest.
The techniques that are used in "Daylight" are:
- Repetition of the word "daylight"
- Repetition at the end of each stanza except for the chorus
- Dense imagery in the 4th stanza
-Rhyme pattern in each stanza - last words rhyme in the first two lines of each non-choral stanza
- Contrast between day and night
The repetition of the word "daylight" plays its part throughout the entire song, as it plays the biggest role in the story. In the non-choral stanzas, the narrator tells a "mini" story about what he does during the daylight. The 2nd and 3rd lines of these stanzas are the main points about daylight, and there are four of these main points mentioned throughout the song:
1st stanza -
We cut the legs off of our pants
Threw our shoes into the ocean
Sit back and wave through the daylight
Sit back and wave through the daylight
2nd stanza -
Slip and slide on subway grates
These shoes are poor man's ice skates
Fall through like change in the daylight
Fall through like change in the daylight
4th stanza -
These sidewalks liquid then stone
Building walls and an old pay phone
It rings like all through the daylight
It rings like all through the daylight
7th stanza -
Open hydrant rolled down windows
This car might make a good old boat
And float down grand street in daylight
And float down grand street in daylight
In the 4th stanza, there is a bit of imagery going on. The lyric is, "These sidewalks liquid then stone, building walls and an old pay phone". This creates a visual image for the reader of what the narrator sees while he's walking down the street, which is wet sidewalk turning into dry sidewalk, and his observations of his surroundings, being the walls beside him and the old pay phone.
In this song, it was hard to notice but there is contrast between the day and night. In the 8th stanza, the last two lines are "step back and here comes the night time", repeated. This technique was used so that the reader got a sense of what he did during the day, and now that his day was over the night time was coming.
Lastly, I found deeper meaning in the chorus, which is the main part of "Daylight", as it is repeated 3 times throughout the song.
And in the daylight we can hitchhike to Maine
I hope that someday I'll see without these frames
And in the daylight I don't pick up my phone
Because in the daylight anywhere feels like home
The chorus analysis that I came up with was that the narrator is living his life during the day time, because anything in the daylight is comfortable for him. Basically, in the chorus the narrator states that he can do anything in the daylight. From hitchhiking to Maine to one day seeing on his own without glasses, he can do anything because in the daylight "anywhere feels like home".
The techniques that are used in "Daylight" are:
- Repetition of the word "daylight"
- Repetition at the end of each stanza except for the chorus
- Dense imagery in the 4th stanza
-Rhyme pattern in each stanza - last words rhyme in the first two lines of each non-choral stanza
- Contrast between day and night
The repetition of the word "daylight" plays its part throughout the entire song, as it plays the biggest role in the story. In the non-choral stanzas, the narrator tells a "mini" story about what he does during the daylight. The 2nd and 3rd lines of these stanzas are the main points about daylight, and there are four of these main points mentioned throughout the song:
1st stanza -
We cut the legs off of our pants
Threw our shoes into the ocean
Sit back and wave through the daylight
Sit back and wave through the daylight
2nd stanza -
Slip and slide on subway grates
These shoes are poor man's ice skates
Fall through like change in the daylight
Fall through like change in the daylight
4th stanza -
These sidewalks liquid then stone
Building walls and an old pay phone
It rings like all through the daylight
It rings like all through the daylight
7th stanza -
Open hydrant rolled down windows
This car might make a good old boat
And float down grand street in daylight
And float down grand street in daylight
In the 4th stanza, there is a bit of imagery going on. The lyric is, "These sidewalks liquid then stone, building walls and an old pay phone". This creates a visual image for the reader of what the narrator sees while he's walking down the street, which is wet sidewalk turning into dry sidewalk, and his observations of his surroundings, being the walls beside him and the old pay phone.
In this song, it was hard to notice but there is contrast between the day and night. In the 8th stanza, the last two lines are "step back and here comes the night time", repeated. This technique was used so that the reader got a sense of what he did during the day, and now that his day was over the night time was coming.
Lastly, I found deeper meaning in the chorus, which is the main part of "Daylight", as it is repeated 3 times throughout the song.
And in the daylight we can hitchhike to Maine
I hope that someday I'll see without these frames
And in the daylight I don't pick up my phone
Because in the daylight anywhere feels like home
The chorus analysis that I came up with was that the narrator is living his life during the day time, because anything in the daylight is comfortable for him. Basically, in the chorus the narrator states that he can do anything in the daylight. From hitchhiking to Maine to one day seeing on his own without glasses, he can do anything because in the daylight "anywhere feels like home".
_Bossypants_
So, over this break I decided that I would start to read a little bit more than usual. My mom thought that I would enjoy Tina Fey's biography, Bossypants. It is about her life from the time that she was a teenager to her life now as an extraordinary actress. With herself as the narrator, she talks about things that happened in her life, and comedically tells the story with remarks on what she thinks about those things as she looks back on it now. I am really interested in Bossypants, because Tina Fey is one of my favorite actresses and was one of my all time favorite SNL regulars. I look forward to the rest of the book, I hope that I can finish it soon so that I can share it with all of you!
I also read the poems that we were assigned to annotate over the break, and in total I read for about an hour from the poetry book. I noticed that while some of the poems were easier to understand than others, the ones that were short and sweet had much more meaning than the longer ones. I don't know if that's reverse psychology or what, but it was definitely something that I noticed! I look forward to continuing our poetry course, it is something that I feel connected and interested in, probably one of my favorite things all year!
Reading times:
Thursday: 65 minutes - Bossypants
Saturday: 45 minutes - Bossypants
Sunday: 60 minutes - Poetry
I also read the poems that we were assigned to annotate over the break, and in total I read for about an hour from the poetry book. I noticed that while some of the poems were easier to understand than others, the ones that were short and sweet had much more meaning than the longer ones. I don't know if that's reverse psychology or what, but it was definitely something that I noticed! I look forward to continuing our poetry course, it is something that I feel connected and interested in, probably one of my favorite things all year!
Reading times:
Thursday: 65 minutes - Bossypants
Saturday: 45 minutes - Bossypants
Sunday: 60 minutes - Poetry
Monday, April 2, 2012
"My Papa's Waltz" by Theodore Roethke
"My Papa's Waltz" by Theodore Roethke is about a child who's father, after working all day, comes home and drinks whiskey, and then dances the waltz. This poem follows the ABAB CDCD rhyming pattern, with alternating lines ending with words that rhyme and/or have repeated sounds. With the simile, "But I hung on like death;", creates an image for the reader that the child was holding onto his/her father tightly while dancing, despite his drunkenness. With other techniques such as repeated sounds (often found in the rhymes), and somewhat dense imagery, the reader can get a generally clear picture of the two dancing around in the kitchen, with the pots sliding off of the shelves and the mother's look of disapproval.
The narrator of "My Papa's Waltz" was most likely a small boy, as in line 2 it says "Could make a small boy dizzy;". If this line hadn't been included in the poem, the narrator would have been most likely perceived as a girl. Because this was included, the tone of the poem changes, and as a reader I can picture a father and his son having a good time dancing around in the kitchen. With imagery in the third stanza, talking about his father's hand, the reader can start to get an understanding of what the father was doing all day: working. This is also conveyed in the fourth stanza, when it talks about his palm being "caked hard by dirt" (line 2). This also creates an image for the reader of not only what the father's hands actually look like, but what the father and the boy look like while they dance, as they probably had not seen each other all day and were having a good time. The last two lines of the last stanza, "Then waltzed me off to bed Still clinging to your shirt", finish off the poem with a clearly happy tone that the father and the son danced until they could no longer dance, and the little boy had enjoyed the time with his father, as he was still clinging to his shirt.
The narrator of "My Papa's Waltz" was most likely a small boy, as in line 2 it says "Could make a small boy dizzy;". If this line hadn't been included in the poem, the narrator would have been most likely perceived as a girl. Because this was included, the tone of the poem changes, and as a reader I can picture a father and his son having a good time dancing around in the kitchen. With imagery in the third stanza, talking about his father's hand, the reader can start to get an understanding of what the father was doing all day: working. This is also conveyed in the fourth stanza, when it talks about his palm being "caked hard by dirt" (line 2). This also creates an image for the reader of not only what the father's hands actually look like, but what the father and the boy look like while they dance, as they probably had not seen each other all day and were having a good time. The last two lines of the last stanza, "Then waltzed me off to bed Still clinging to your shirt", finish off the poem with a clearly happy tone that the father and the son danced until they could no longer dance, and the little boy had enjoyed the time with his father, as he was still clinging to his shirt.
_A Stolen Life_ + "The Lovely Strangers"
I cannot believe it, I am almost to the end of Jaycee Lee Dugard's autobiography, A Stolen Life! I read it for about an hour and a half, and am only a few pages away from the end. I read about 70 or so pages this week, but it was a little bit harder because a lot of the pages I read were journal entries from when she kept a journal on the computer that she used for work. It took me a little bit longer, but it was more for me to take in! When I reached the part where she was investigated a few times by the Berkeley police, I couldn't help but think "what if?". Had two police officers not taken her back for a second investigation after they found her in an intricate backyard of secrets, she may still be there today, living in captivity. It really was an epiphany-ish moment for me, because the series of events was so close to being something so wrong, and its hard to think about how if just one thing hadn't happened exactly the way that it did, she would still be living with her kidnappers today.
Along with A Stolen Life, I have also read something that my friend Caroline W. wrote, a short story called "The Lovely Strangers". Yes, it has to do with One Direction, but it's also a good read. I read 7 chapters in about 2 and a half hours. Her writing is so interesting, because the main character is based on her, and I can see her personality through the character, Blakely, but also it is interesting because it was written by someone that I know personally. I don't want to ruin the short story for anyone who may read it, but it is about a girl Blakely who traveled to Paris with her friend and her friend's family. This story was actually based on what will happen over spring break, in just a few days, so it is really interesting to see everything that my two friends are going to do!
Along with A Stolen Life, I have also read something that my friend Caroline W. wrote, a short story called "The Lovely Strangers". Yes, it has to do with One Direction, but it's also a good read. I read 7 chapters in about 2 and a half hours. Her writing is so interesting, because the main character is based on her, and I can see her personality through the character, Blakely, but also it is interesting because it was written by someone that I know personally. I don't want to ruin the short story for anyone who may read it, but it is about a girl Blakely who traveled to Paris with her friend and her friend's family. This story was actually based on what will happen over spring break, in just a few days, so it is really interesting to see everything that my two friends are going to do!
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